Strange Times

January 21st was the last day before the Lunar New Year holiday. I didn’t think that would be the last time I would get to see the students at my school.

I had it all planned out. I thought through the entire plan for my leaving the school when I handed in my resignation in November. This place has been such a big part of my life, that I wanted to make sure I left well. After much prayer and discussion, I decided that the end of February would be my last day. That would give me one month to get my things together to leave my home for the past five years before heading to the TeachBeyond conference in April then heading to America before beginning the new adventure in July. However, my plans didn’t factor in the coronavirus.

At the beginning of February, we learned of the coronavirus and the country jumped into action. The virus that was running rampant in China, had come to this country. There weren’t many cases, but there was enough unknowns that caused fear in parents. The Ministry of Education and Ministry of Health decided to close school for the week by extending the Lunar Holiday. This was a shock to teachers as there was not a lot of information about the virus. Schools jumped into action by providing online learning and cleaning and sanitizing everything.

As the week continued, rumors started going around that school was going to be canceled the next week as well. Other cities had already closed for the next week, but we had to wait until Friday evening to learn that we would be extending the holiday for another week. School being closed for another week, without an increase in cases, didn’t really make sense and we complained. There was just not a lot of information. Teachers were missing students. We didn’t prepare to say goodbye to students for longer than the week and a half holiday. Now we were going on three and a half weeks.

Each week, the expectations that next week would be the week we would go back would be crushed Friday evening when the city would extended the holiday yet again. Soon school was canceled for the entire month of February (if you’re keeping track that makes 5 and a half weeks out of school). My heart sadden at the thought that the students that I have watched grow over the past five years would come back to school and I won’t be there. They wouldn’t even know that I had spent the past 4 months thinking of how I would say goodbye to them; how we would shed tears and share memories. I feel robbed at the opportunity to say goodbye to the students that have been a big part of the reason I came here.

The school staff did plan a sweet farewell party for me on my last day, 28 February, 2020. We played American Football with the staff. I love the opportunity to play sports with our staff, it is a great time of fellowship and team-building. Then they arranged a photo booth and sweet farewell videos for me in our gym. I loved the opportunity to spend time with staff that I have built relationships with. They also offered me the chance to come back to school when the students come back for a final farewell.

As March has come, the school closures continue. The news just came that students will be out of school until the end of March and school are preparing for the long term (end of March makes 9 and a half weeks out of school). The rest of the world has also caught on to the school closures as well as businesses are starting to close. I started to come to terms with not being able to see the students before I leave.

Every day I hear about schools closing in America and other countries banning travel for the next 2-4 weeks. I had planned to leave at the beginning of April to head to the conference in Europe. However, the conference was canceled. Then flights to Malaysia were banned. And now its not looking promising for flights to America. So I have paused travel plans and I am just taking it one day at a time.

These are strange times. But during these strange times I will continue to trust in the Lord. I know that He has orchestrated the next adventure as a Head of School. My plans for the summer might be changing but I put all my trust and plans in the hands of the Lord. I am thankful for the extra time to spend with my community here and I am praying that students will come back to school before I have to leave the country. But I know that there will be an opportunity for me to come back even if I don’t get to say goodbye this time. This country and these people have a special place in my heart. God is continuing to fulfill His promise of providing homes all over the world.

pictures in order from left to right:

1st row: ponchos on motorbikes, making nem and my other favorite foods with some amazing people, the trip to Bat Trang Pottery Village, Playing football with the staff

2nd row: lanterns in Hoi An with friends, farewell photo booth group picture, my empty desk at school, Sunday Fiesta for Woman’s Day at Salt N Lime

3rd row: Long Bien Bridge, Recycled trash, Office staff goodbye dinner at 4ps, some of my favorite girls from work

Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020

2019 has come to an end and it is time to welcome in a new decade, the roaring 20’s!

As 2019 ended, I reflected on the year. The year seems to go by fast, however, it is good to reflect about everything that has happened and that you have done the past year. As I went through my phone’s camera roll, I was reminded of all the adventures and experiences I had in 2019.

2019 was full of friends and family. God provided so many opportunities to develop deeper relationships with friends and see the amazing community He has provided here.

The second half of 2019 was difficult. Many tears were shed and I was not sure why God had called me back for another school year. I was so sure when I came back in July that this would be my last year and I was determined to make it great! I wanted to end well and I had a whole school year to do it! The incident at school changed things, but God was there in powerful ways. The months of August, September, and October seemed to last forever. Each month felt like its own year, but I learned so much about myself and about the Lord. Many people would ask me how I was doing and I didn’t really know how to respond. To be honest, I didn’t know how I was evening standing. Getting up in the morning was a struggle. I didn’t want to go to work, which was weird because I was the little girl that wanted to be at school on the weekend.

When people would say, “I don’t know how you are doing this.” My response always pointed back to the Lord. How are you working and going to school? How are you dealing with the crisis and keeping the school running? How are you doing grad school and staying at school until 9 or 10pm? I don’t know. My own strength was used up the day after the incident, everything after that was God. And when I didn’t have the strength to stand anymore, God provided people to hold me as I cried. This year has brought heartache and tears, but also joy and community. Even in the midst of the trials, God’s love stands strong.

2019 was full of ups and downs. Travels and work. Friends and more friends. I am so thankful for the friendships that were strengthened this year and the new ones that formed. To be honest, I was ready for the year to end, but as I reflected on the amazing things that happened over the year, I paused and thanked God for so many blessings. Below is a calendar of pictures, a year in review.

2020 brings more adventure. I accepted a position within TeachBeyond as a Head of School, still in Southeast Asia. 2020 will begin with closing a chapter and starting a new one. The great thing about ending a chapter is that the people within the chapter don’t disappear, they come with you. I am excited to start this new decade and see all that God has in store!

How is God using Me?

There have been a lot of conversations the past two months about how God is using our team here in S.E. Asia. When I was first moving abroad to be an M, I read stories about M’s in Africa and Asia who were seeing people saved everyday and adopting orphans. I thought my life was going to be similar to this, and to be honest I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I slowly learned that those stories were the exceptions.

As an M in S.E. Asia, I am being the light of Jesus in a very dark world. My mission field is my school. For me, I get to combine my love of Jesus with my love for teaching. I don’t get to share the gospel with my students and coworkers, but I do get to teach them about forgiveness and caring for others. I model Christ-like character and love for everyone. I am not perfect, and I often fail. However, the grace of God helps me to ask for forgiveness from students and coworkers and it blows their minds! Forgiveness is not part of their culture, but they are learning how to forgive. That is God working on their hearts! I also get to teach them English, which opens so many more opportunities for them to hear the gospel in the future. The school is transforming education in the region. Students learn to problem solve, think creatively & critically, and discover new things. This is a new concept for this culture. The students in my school will be equipped to be the leaders of this country. I am so excited for the impact they will make and the  values they have. These students will change the world!

Recently, we had a team meeting and we were discussing 2 Timothy 2:22-26. We were focusing on the words “be kind”. Many of us shared about being kind with our students, coworkers, and friends. I pointed out this is how God is moving at the school. Sometimes I have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of the school to see how God is moving. I look at my coworkers and how I can see a change in their demeanor and attitude. Four years ago you could never get someone to say something good about a school event. Now, we first point out the things that went well and acknowledge the growth before pointing out the areas of improvement. It’s small steps like this that make a big impact. It just takes time. You can see it in the students as they play with their friends and communicate with teachers. They are able to ask each other for forgiveness and accept apologies from one another. This is a huge step for a culture that blames others to avoid taking responsibility and dealing with emotions.

Another area is in the classroom. Recently, I had a couple of team members feel like they aren’t really doing M work, they are just teaching English. What makes them different than if they were doing this back home? Nothing except the calling to move to a new country, live in a different culture, where you don’t speak the language. But we are all called to make disciples of the nations. Home is a nation and some of us are called to the mission field at home, others are called to the mission field in other countries. But we are living life for the glory of God and praying that he uses our lives to reach others. We often get asked “how many people have you saved?” My answer “0”. I don’t save. Jesus saves! I just go where he leads and open myself up to be used to reach people. In the classroom students are watching teachers and they pick up so much more than what we say. They are watching our responses and our actions. They accept our apologies when we ask for forgiveness for yelling. They see this in us, and then we see it in their actions. Sometimes your actions speak more than your words. 

Right now, I am called to live and work here. I don’t have the freedom to share Jesus in a formal classroom setting, but Jesus isn’t confined to 4 walls of a classroom. He lives in me and exudes from me. He’s in the character traits and values I teach our students. He’s in the loving discipline I show to students. The students know I care for them and that my discipline isn’t because I’m mad or angry at them, but because I want them to grow and mature to be respectable human beings. And we have to start somewhere. So no, I don’t use the Bible to teach them discipline or character. But one day, they will be reading the Bible (maybe while they are studying abroad in America) and they will understand because they were taught in primary and secondary school about Christ’s love through the actions of their teachers.

I think sometimes there is this misguided understanding of mission work: that you are defined by your number of converts. But I think that is just one step of the journey of salvation. The work we are doing here is planting the seeds for students to learn more about God and his son. The epic story. We might not get to see the fruit of the seed, but we can keep tending to the soil so that when the time comes that seed with grow and bloom and stand firm knowing the love and will of the Lord.

Being an M is not easy. It’s life. I’m not different than you. God calls us to different places at different seasons in our lives. To grow us and mold us to be more like Him. And in the midst of our growth He uses us to advance His kingdom. So whether you are living in your home country or abroad, God has a plan to use you to advance his kingdom. You might think you’re not qualified, but God didn’t call the qualified, He qualified the called.

Great spoken word!