Today in my TEFL class we were talking about culture shock and understanding Chinese culture. Our instructor shared a blog post with us and this really sums up China's view of foreigners:
In the Chinese worldview, there are two kinds of people in the world: Chinese and foreigners. Unlike the English usage of the word “foreigner,” which is a relative term, in Chinese it is absolute. Like the terms Jews and Gentiles, they are mutually exclusive. A Chinese cannot be a foreigner and a foreigner cannot be a Chinese. (http://joannpittman.com/).
The Chinese see all the people in the world as two types of people. You are either Chinese or a Foreigner, no matter where you are if you aren't Chinese you are a foreigner. And it doesn't matter how long you have lived in China or studied the language and culture you will always be a foreigner. I knew this in the beginning but could never really put words to it, but today we read this and it all made sense (well kind of).As a foreigner you will always be stared at when walking down the streets. The Chinese won't always understand what you are saying even when you speak in Chinese. And they will still try to make you spend more on merchandise and transportation because you are a foreigner. It is just something to get used to!
During class we also discussed culture shock. We talked about culture shock in my last TEFL course and we talked about the same things, but things are different when you are in the mix of experiencing the culture shock. As I was reading the chapter in our book about culture shock in China I could say I have experienced this and that. I have felt the loneliness of living in this foreign land not being able to communicate with the locals. I have had days where I just wanted to stay inside because the thought of having to communicate in hand motions and gestures to buy something or go somewhere exhausted me. I have also been laughed at when trying to do my best to communicate with the locals. Sometimes it just seems so hard. But then there are days that it's exciting to experience this foreign culture and try to get around by playing charades with everyone you meet (seriously my entire life is charades with the Chinese). It's definitely something different than back in the States.
We talked about the different stages of culture shock. When I think back on my experience in China I skipped the honeymoon phase (or it was a really short phase) and went straight to the irritability/hostility stage because everything annoyed me and I just wanted to go home. Also the circumstances were not ideal in my case. But I think now I am gradually adjusting. I have learned how to communicate with the local convenience store clerk to buy the basics (meaning I know how to say my numbers and thank you and I have apps that help with the rest LOL). I have learned how to get around on the buses and subway and even direct a taxi to places I want to go! I still get irritated with things but I get over it pretty fast and move on to enjoying my time here.
We also talked in class about reverse culture shock. This is the time when you transition back into your home culture. So when I come back to America. That seems to be everyone's question for me, "So when are you coming home?" I still don't have an answer to that question. I might come home in December or I might stay longer. I don't know. But I do know that the thought of leaving in December saddens me. I have grown to like China. It is my new normal. I know where to go to get the things I want/need. And today in class I was thinking about when I return to the States, what will it be like? Will I be overwhelmed with the selection of things in Target? Will I be able to go shopping and not drop dead when I see the price of some of the items? Will I feel comfortable talking to people in English and being surrounded by English? Life is so different here in China, it's not bad it's just different. At first it seems bad because it is like the opposite of what you have grown up with but just because it is different doesn't make it wrong/bad.
So today as we were talking about reverse culture shock in class a lot of people brought up the fact that talking to people back home will be difficult because when you want to talk about your time overseas they really just want a quick overview of your time and then they tell you about them. I think it is hard for people to relate to your stories about your adventure because you left the United States and most of the population of the US has never left the country, let alone their state. They have nothing to relate to you about. When you tell them you walked on the Great Wall of China (a wonder of the world) they may be in awe for a few seconds but then there is nothing they can relate to so they change the subject to something they have done. It's easier for them because they know you have lived in America so there has to be something you understand/relate to about their experiences. So you are left talking about their lives and not being able to share about your adventures overseas.
So these are things to prepare myself for when I come home. But I have kind of being dealing with this now when talking to people back home. It's not a bad thing! I love talking to people back home because I get to keep in contact with home and still feel like I know what is going on. I do however hate the feeling like I am missing out on things. I mean my friends are preparing for weddings and babies and there is a possibility that I won't get to be there for the weddings or hold the cute little newborns. Also talking to friends and family is hard because everyone asks how I am doing and I answer but it is a quick answer and before I can share an experience they are already talking about something going on in their life. I want to hear what's going on, but by the time I have time to say something we both have to go. So it feels like it is already beginning. People aren't as interested in my experiences, just as long as they know that I am ok! But I feel like I understand why people tell me all about themselves because I can relate/understand what is going on. Also they are keeping me up-to-date on all the happenings going on, but when I talk about China they don't have really anything to say because they haven't been here or experienced something similar. It's ok. I will continue to talk to people back home and get my updates on the happenings in Kentucky! I miss everyone back home and love getting updates, makes me feel like I am not on the other side of the world!
Love,
